Understanding Loss

In our attempt to address issues relating to loss through death and subsequent grief, we realize that much more needs to be detailed than is possible in this website. The information provided here is to offer insight and hope on your journey through grief. This does not replace professional guidance nor does it infer that your individual concerns will be answered here. A myriad of books have been written on grief and many more will still be published because the enormous realm of loss and the grieving process affects us all and can affect us profoundly.

Therefore, we will share our thoughts about the grieving process by relating key concepts on loss and grief, and options on how to cope with grief. We will close with a list of books which we have found very helpful in understanding the experience of grief. As you are reading this, if a specific question or concern arises, please jot it down and either consult your counselor, minister, or grief specialist or send us a note. The better we understand what we are feeling and why, the better our journey through the course of grief.

In A Grief Observed, a most eloquent tribute by C.S. Lewis following the death of his wife, the author writes, "For in grief nothing stays put. One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round."� He continues by likening his grief process to being on a spiral. And, if on a spiral, he asks if he is "going up or down it?"�

This is the nature of grief. Theories abound on the grieving process and many reflect similar concepts relating to stages or levels in grief. It seems, however, that even these stage� theories work within the confines of a spiral. So many grieving individuals have shared with us their feelings of going crazy because of this very reason! No sooner do they feel like they have finally worked through a certain place in their grief, when they hear a song reminding them of their loved one or walk past a favorite restaurant where they formerly dined, and those same painful grieving feelings seem to return with a vengeance. No, they are probably not going crazy but it is hard to believe otherwise when you are experiencing some of the very painful feelings of grief.

In this context, then, consider the following about grief: