Gifts of the Serious Illness
Recorded at the KEOM Studios
October 5, 2004

Q:So, Mike, what are we talking about today?

A: We're talking today about the diagnosis of a serious illness: How do we cope with it; What can I hope for now; What do I do with the life that remains, whatever that is? Hope is such a hard commodity to find when we have received the diagnosis of a serious or fatal illness. I've never been through it myself. But, I have been a companion to many people that have been there. A quote that seems especially relevant to those facing serious illness comes from the famous physician himself - the one who authored the oath that all physicians are sworn to honor, Hippocrates - who said: "A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses."� One of those benefits of illness is a greater sense of awareness of the value and gifts of each day. Those of us who have not faced serious illness often have very little awareness of the gifts that each day brings.

Q: What kinds of gifts are you speaking of?

A: Things like a day without pain. Many serious illnesses have some level of deep physical pain. People who have those illnesses hurt terribly. So, then, people who have had serious illness have a deep sense of gratitude for those days in which pain is kept at a minimum. This is, by the way, one of the greatest benefits of hospice care: better pain control.

Additionally, those who have a serious or terminal illness seem to value relationships more. They seem more keenly tuned to their loved ones. This is also a phenomena that we saw after the collapse of the World Trade Center. We saw marriages the healing of marriages that were teetering on the edge of divorce. We realize, in dark times, that there is often good where we never saw it before and that we can often benefit greatly from lowering our expectations.

Q: So, the gifts that you're speaking of are really related to how we view our lives?

A: Yes. Serious illness invites a perspective in us that we often take little or no notice of until we are ill. I have seen tears stream down the face of a terminally ill old man as he held a simple leaf between his fingers, caressing it as though it were gold. Unless we have been through that experience, or have chosen to consciously discover the lessons of those who are suffering, most of us never experience those feelings. We are so very absorbed in the day to day business of our lives, that we are unaware of the amazing beauty of the little things we enjoy in life. But, the gifts are also related to how we choose to live our lives, not just how we view them.

Q: Do you have an example of what you mean?

A: People that are seriously ill often seem to make more enlightened choices, as long as they are not in denial. They seem to really choose life - and by that I don't necessarily mean aggressive treatment - I mean they choose to live their lives more fully. It is as though they compact into each good feeling day as many positive sensations as they can - something which all of us would benefit from. It is as though, when they wake up feeling good on any particular morning, they marshal their resources and begin that moment to relish the splendor of the morning and beauty of any activity they can participate in. So, then, the gifts of serious illness, may be a better understanding of the gifts of life. Of course, like most of life's hardest classes it takes work. Which is probably why William Shakespeare wrote the following: "In peace, there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness, and humility; but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger, stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood...now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide, hold hard the breath, and bend up every spirit to its full height!"�

Sources:
William Shakespeare, 'The Life of King Henry V'
Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)