This article is the script of an interview about handling bad news. We did the interview on April 22, 2002 with Dr. James Griffin, Station Director of KEOM 88.5 FM.

(Recorded April 26, 2002 at the KEOM studios)

Q: So what is today's subject, Mike?

A: Today, I thought we'd talk about those occasions in life where we get some unexpected bad news. It may be the call that wakes us up in the wee hours of the morning or the visit to the doctor, where we're informed that we, or someone we love, has a condition that we weren't expecting. We'd like to try and offer some ways to get through that.

Q: Aren't people pretty much in shock at those moments?

A: Yes, absolutely. There's an immediate response from our whole body system that calls out resources that naturally seek to protect us from some of the impact of hard news. Sometimes, after a loved ones death we'll see family members start taking (and passing around) some mood altering medication, as they say "something to take the edge off�." This should be avoided unless the person is taking these medications under a physician's supervision. It will only postpone having to face the news. In most cases, the body has it's own ways of protecting us. This is that feeling of numbness that we often feel after hearing bad news.

Q: So, what steps can we take when we get bad news?

A: I think the first step is pretty natural, and very likely, we have little control over. That is, we feel numb, and just have to sit down and really FEEL, or PROCESS, what we have heard and hear it over again in our minds. Essentially, it is a shock to us. Sometimes, we don't have the time to really sit down and PROCESS what we have heard. September 11 of last year my son and I were on the tarmac at O'Hare International when the terrorist attacks occurred. Our plane had to taxi back to the gate and we had to get off the plane. At that moment, no one knew what was happening, only that aviation had been targeted. Frankly, I was sacred for my ten year old son, trying to figure out where to go in the airport to be safe if the airport was targeted. In those kinds of times, we don't have the luxury of being able to do extensive processing. We have to determine, WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO NOW.

Q: That would be one of the steps, then?

A: Yes. If we have the time to take a little while and process, then this time to cry, meditate, grieve, etc, would come first. Then, begin the task, if we have the time, of INFORMATION GATHERING. Find accurate sources of information. For bad news that involves health care matters, this is one of the best uses of the internet. You should also consult other medical professionals, if appropriate. After we have done our INFORMATION GATHERING, we begin the process of deciding WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO NOW. We might set up some GOALS, the things we feel we must do to get through the next little while. We can't decide what to do for the next week, and possibly, not even for the next hour. We CAN decide what to do NOW, though. It's very helpful if we take a deep breath at this point and consider again, what has happened. Along the way, you'll likely have cycles of crying episodes. This is entirely appropriate. Nor, should we feel embarrassed. The pain that we are going through is enormous.

In O'Hare on September 11, I felt I had to do three things; get my son to the safest part of the airport I could find, ascertain as best I could what was going on, so that, three, I could plan a way to get my son and I to longer-term shelter. From there, I thought, we could really figure out what had happened and what to do. All in all, this approach seems to work; PROCESS, GATHER INFORMATION, DECIDE WHAT TO DO NOW. We will likely be doing a little of all three all the time.

But, as soon as you can get to a place where you can let go, use that place. Ours was a Denny's in Barrington Estates, Illinois, where a sweet waitress, whom my son told that we had been in the airport, brought us extra chips for free while we waited on a dear friend to pick us up until we could come back to Dallas. That's the final point, TAKE COMFORT IN THE SUPPORT YOU CAN GET.