happy Anger

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Just popping in
Posts: 2
Just a quick post here about anger.
One of my sisters suggested that I write down the reasions that my father gets angry. I told her that I allready knew the reasion: Alzheimer's

He can't help his moods. They change as quickly as a model changes cloths.

The best I can do, is help him through them.
I found that, if his moods can change so quickly, then I can change them. I know what makes him laugh. So, when he's in a rage, I make him laugh - and all is better.

I don't mean to over simplify this, but that was one answer that I found.

G. Arthur Woods

Posted on 2003/3/5 8:54

question Re: Anger

From: Dallas
Posts: 262
Thank you for your wise comments. I think that we often benefit from simplification, especially in this case. Barb, who works in the UT Southwestern Memory Disorders Clinic, has been telling me about the mistaken belief by many caregivers that the patient is intentionally trying to be a problem. (Maybe Barb could add a little about this?? hint, hint ).

That is usually not the case. It is generally just the disease. They can't help it.

And understanding this about your dear Father, rather than seeing it as his effort to create a problem, is a great example to all of us.

Please don't be a stranger. You have much to offer us (as do all of our visitors)!

Posted on 2003/3/6 0:38


normal Is is all just revenge : )

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Thanks for that.

The only time I wonder about my old man doing anything intentionally, is (wink) he trying to get me back for all the crap I put him through when I was a kid.

Now I change HIS diapers. Now I cook HIS food and do HIS dirty laundry and change HIS stinky sheets, and now he stamps his foot and says, "NO NO NO"

Yea, this is all just revenge!

G. Arthur Woods

Posted on 2003/3/6 8:18

normal Re: Anger

Quite a regular
From: Rowlett
Posts: 56
It sounds like you've found some good ways to deal with your father's mood changes! And, you're right - it is usually the disease that causes the anger and mood swings. Likewise, there's usually a feeling that's causing the behavior . . . for example, when a person with dementia can't understand a situation, ( like a stressed caregiver angrily saying that he/she has to take a bath today because they haven't bathed in the last 2 weeks ) they may feel fear which causes agitation which is expressed through anger. So, it's good to try to figure out what may be the feeling behind the behavior - more times than not, it's fear and confusion . . . . does that sound right to you? Maybe not - again, it seems like you understand your dad pretty well and if you can change his mood from anger to laughter, well, you're doing pretty good!!!!!

Posted on 2003/3/9 9:04


normal Been there

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>>( like a stressed caregiver angrily saying that he/she has to take a bath today because they haven't bathed in the last 2 weeks>>

OH, been there, done that!
I make my old man bathe everyday.
He wets at night and his diapers can't handle it all -

You are right about something - I do keep track of what seems to annoy him, and I head him off before he gets annoyed.

Bill Cosby said: A parent is not interested in justice. A parent want's quiet.

Amen - and care-givers too.

Posted on 2003/3/10 7:53

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