Am I a bad daughter?

normal Am I a bad daughter?

Previous post - Next post | Parent - Children.1 .2 |
Posts: 0
:nw: Mom was put into the Hospital with a kidney infection - and came out not knowing day from night, who her children were,etc;etc...You can talk with her BUT 2min later-she doesn't remember what you said.To top it over she's hard of hearing so if she didn't hear you, she just kind of makes it up as she goes..My sister seems fine with all this.She talks with her like mom's "all there". Meantime I have a difficult time just sitting in the same room, afraid she'll start a converstion with me! Am I such a bad daughter that now that Mom's sick I can't be there for her?! The guilt is all but killing me.We all 3 live together and I spend most of my time at home in my bedroom. I'm not a young kid,I'm almost 50. I have suffered from depression for along time, but it's getting worst.. Somebody Please help, is this a normal way to react or is it me!!! And what do I do about it???[/b]

Posted on 2002/5/9 13:38


Previous post - Next post | Parent - No child |

Just popping in
From: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 8
Dear Blaze

I am a Hospice nurse and I retired from 31 years of service at a hospital.
There is no RIGHT way to handle what you are going through. Some people couldn't leave the side of their loved one, and others couldn't even come to the hospital to see their loved one. It didn't mean one person loved the patient more than the other, or that one was good and the other bad. It has nothing to do with that at all.

We all handle these situation in different ways. Remember to be very gentle with yourself. You are in a difficult situation and it will bring up all sorts of feelings. This is the time to have a support system around you, and if you don't have one, build one!! That may even mean finding a therapist you feel comfortable to trust. Your support system needs to be something like a pie with lots of different pieces. One big piece for me was the Elderhope Web Site. You have taken a big step just in recognizing that depression and guilt are feelings you are having. I remember feeling the intensity of both of them also.

Blessings for your journey during this difficult time.

Posted on 2002/5/9 15:31

normal Difficult time

Previous post - Next post | Parent - No child |

Quite a regular
From: Rowlett
Posts: 56
Dear Blaze,
I agree so much with what Arlene shared in her message. Taking care of yourself during this time and being aware of your needs and feelings is so very important. You also mentioned that your mother is home from the hospital - is she living in your home? Are there other people helping to care for her? Although I am not a doctor, I do know that these types of infections can increase confusion and disorientation. Is she still taking medication? Is she also dealing with dementia?
Having asked those questions, I can also say that most caregivers deal with some type of guilt and/or related feelings, especially when caring for an elderly parent. Furthermore, when siblings are involved, it can be difficult when deciding on the best way to care for their parent, handling the finances, etc. Another stressful situation perhaps!
So, please take care during this time - you mentioned coping with depression . . . how are you dealing with your depression - the additional stress that you are feeling now can really affect one's coping through depression. Please let us know how you are coming along . . . as Arlene said, you need all the support you can get during this time! Blessings to you and your family - Barb

Posted on 2002/5/9 16:56

Post into this topic

guestname   :
url email imgsrc image code quote
alignleft aligncenter alignright bold italic underline linethrough   


  Advanced search