Am I letting go of too much?

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normal Am I letting go of too much?

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Just popping in
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2007/5/31
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When my parents passed away (mom and dad died within a year of each other),I went to visit our old vacation home. It was nice to go there and remember the good times we all had together. But I also got a bit melancholy about it a the same time. It won't be the same without mom and dad. My sister agrees. And so, I'm considering selling the timeshare deed to the vacation house. Am I overreacting out of grief, might I regret it?


Posted on 2007/5/31 18:25




normal Re: Am I letting go of too much?

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2002/12/10
From: Rowlett
Posts: 56
It is hard to visit the places that have strong connections and memories with those we love who have passed away. It's equally hard to know when we need to move on past those places or preserve those locations because of the connections with our loved ones. Oftentimes, people will be advised to wait at least a year after a loved one dies before they make any big moves, such as selling property, etc. This is primarily so that folks don't make any big decisions about selling or moving until they are in a better place of acceptance and understanding with their grief and emotions.

I don't know how long ago it was that your parents passed away - if it was quite recently, you may want to wait for a bit until you and your sister are sure that you don't want to keep the property for yourselves or for future generations. By waiting you may have a better feeling about your decision and, therefore, lessen any chances of regret.

On the other hand, if you both are sure that this property will lose it's meaningfulness without your parent's being there to share the time with you, then sell your timeshare and cherish the memories that you have of your experiences shared with your parents there . . . maybe create a collage of photos from your vacation home, that your sister and you can enjoy for years to come!

Whatever your decision, trust your feelings - as well as your sister's - about what seems the right direction for you both about the property - sometimes we just need more time before we can feel more sure about our decisions to move on,while cherishing our memories of the past - please take good care, Barb


Posted on 2007/6/1 20:48




normal Re: Am I letting go of too much?

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Just popping in
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If it was a timeshare then the place itself was never truly yours; the memories you took from it are what you truly own, and you


Posted on 2007/6/2 19:37


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normal Re: Am I letting go of too much?

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Grief is a tricky thing, as are memories. At times, memories can bring us tremendous comfort - I still take comfort when I have a cold in using Vicks Vap-o-Rub, probably just because my mom used to rub it on my chest when I was a youngster. For whatever reason, I immediately feel better. This hitching post of memories - the timeshare - may have that effect on you. On the other hand, it may only bring heartache and remind you of loss.

The difficulty lies in the nature of grief, especially when dealing with two losses in a year. It takes time to understand what grief's long-term effect is - and will be - on us. It's normal to have feelings of tremendous ambiguity in going back to someplace familiar, especially early on.

 
Widows and widowers may take months (occasionally even years) to go through their loved one's clothes. But, frequently, they begin to find a connection to those old clothes. I can't begin to tell you how often wives have told me about wearing their husbands work shirts to sleep in. It comforts them - not all of them, not all the time, but some of the time, indeed, often. The caution here is that you not do something irrevocable.

It may very well be that the old place will only have value as it stays in cherished memories. But, it may well be that sometime later, with a special loved one - a grandchild, for instance, or perhaps a soulmate or lover - who wants to know what makes you tick - the old place will again be a source of life.

In grief, there's not a right or wrong with how to process it. Only how it works best for you. 



Posted on 2007/6/3 0:32




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