Re: grief over losing a spouse, or beginning dementia?

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none Re: grief over losing a spouse, or beginning dementia?

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Hello Everyone,
I am reading all these posts with rabid attention as I am going through this with my father. My mother just died this past August after a very short and very devastating form of brain cancer. If I'm completely honest with my self just before she became ill my father was exhibiting some mild signs of early dementia. I'm talking small things like the name of a restaurant or date of a birthday. However since her death his mental health has declined significantly. I had to move in with him due to paranoia, not eating, and even being there everyday for a few hours to write bills and visit I would not be home for forty-five minutes when my phone would ring because "some man was threatening him through he television" and could I stop back over. All this of course while working full-time and trying to deal with my own grief over the loss of my mom. So, moving in just seemed more sensible. The doctor diagnosed him with"severe grief reaction" and started him on an antidepressant. At least the paranoia is much better, but everything else is a disaster. I am a nurse and work twelve hour night shifts. I get no sleep during the day because of repeated interruptions and nights I'm off he's up and dressed at three am. I gave up living with my significant other and also gave up living across the street from my only child. Let her and him at least have a little normalcy! I am so profoundly depressed. My dad is someone I don't even know anymore. Before my mom got sick they were so active, and at home he washed clothes, shared household chores, etc. He does nothing now but read the newspaper. I do all the wash, write all the bills, he only eats if handed food. Oh and I sleep on the living room floor because its only a two bedroom house so no room for a bed anywhere. I'm so sorry for venting like this. But I do believe the answer is yes-if there was some dementia present before the death of a spouse -no matter how small-it grows exponentially . I wish only the best for everyone on this site and I thank you for the valuable insights I've learned.

Posted on 2013/2/7 5:57

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