Re: grief over losing a spouse, or beginning dementia?

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none Re: grief over losing a spouse, or beginning dementia?

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This is happening to my father now. He is 84, and it has been over two years since my mother died. Dad has moved in with us and is surrounded by people who love him, and the dogs, who he really enjoys. However, he has lost massive amounts of weight, is listless, and although not cognitively impaired, has had episodes of the type you described.

Obviously, he has been to a number of doctors and a few hospital stays. He has been pronounced healthy. There is nothing physically wrong with him. They wanted to put a tube in him to feed him, but I refused citing many articles and studies that determine there is no clinical evidence to support any improvement using a feeding tube. in fact, there is evidence to the contrary!

The point is, doctors have been geared to give a general DX of "old age," and simply are clueless. Hospitals are worse, since the effect of being in a strange environment usually provides for the onset of "Sundowner's," an increase in the demented/delusional state.

I am afraid my father simply cannot get over the loss of my mom and is actually willing himself to die. He has that right. In the meantime, unless he becomes a danger to himself or us, he will stay here and be surrounded by love and care. There is, sadly, no cure for a broken heart.

I wish you the very best.

Posted on 2011/10/11 14:43

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