Re: grief in the dementia patient

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none Re: grief in the dementia patient

Just hoping for some advice on my situation. Dad had a vascular bleed (stroke) last May. While in rehab, it was discovered that he also has vascular dementia. He is still there, in the Memory Care part of the facility. Our mother had a stroke 10 years ago, and my father had been her primary caregiver until his. There are 3 adult childern, I am the eldest. Both of my siblings have health issues and mental health issues and can not help out much. My Mom has decided she will stay in her home alone, and has proved herself faily capable of doing so. I pay the bills from her funds, and she has access to her bank account, taking her monthly cash out for her living needs.
My father remains very sharp and articulate, often "fooling" people into believing he is being held in the care center against his will. He is on Medicaid, and insists that we are holding him there because we do not want to take care of him. We cannot take care of him, it requires 24 hour watch. The facility has had to deal with all kinds of horrible behavior, he has done unspeakable things to staff, and yet they love him and continue to care for him. He has threatened suicide, seen a prist, and a psyc. doctor, and his meds have been adjusted. He no longer cries all day and night, and has mostly stopped telling the family that he is divorcing Mom for the 30 yr old CNA he is sure is going to marry him.
Now it seems he has an atty trying to get him out, so where will he go? Will Medicaid allow him to just walk out the door? He believes he has lots of money and can hire staff to care for him. The home they own is a 400 sq ft. mobile home, not ADA safe, no room for staff, and no money for that either.

Posted on 2011/4/10 18:19

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