Re: grief in the dementia patient

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Quite a regular
From: Rowlett
Posts: 56
Hi Mary!
One question regarding your father - if his doctor believes that he is appropriate for hospice, you may want to consider this option as a way to add additional help for and with your father, as well as yourself and family once he does pass away. Hospice can arrange for a nurse to visit as well as assistance with personal care if he is able to return to the assisted living facility. Furthermore, hospice can assist with bereavement issues now and in the year following the death of your father. You can look up a few hospices in your area, call one or 2, (they all pretty much offer the same type of help for those who are terminally ill)ask them all the questions you may have (or not, if you are familiar with hospice services) but first your father's doctor would need to state if your father is hospice appropriate.

Next, regarding possible options for your father's funeral - I think your idea is good. Your mother may become too confused and agitated with a longer memorial service. You may need to even keep the private service very simple for your mother's sake - if it looks like your mother is benefitting from the support of family and friends -then that's great. However, if even a simple service is too much for her, then be prepared to leave with your mother - it's always hard to know how to handle this, Mary. I think, though, that if you have options planned depending upon how your mother is doing, stress may be somewhat reduced for all.

Lastly, I agree completely!!!!! A day away or whatever you need to "recharge" your battery is so very important for you AND your parents. We always say that a caregiver can't give what they don't have and with all that you are doing you need time away to give something back to you! This is vital to your own health - of body, mind and soul:)

We will definitely be thinking about you all and hoping that something here will be helpful for you - if not, let us know and hopefully some other options may be more appropriate for all that you are trying to do now! In the meantime, please keep taking care of yourself while you are caring for everyone else!

Posted on 2009/4/20 9:48

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