Re: grief in the dementia patient

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Barb,
Thank you for your reply. Mom is still in rehab, she was supposed to be released last Friday, but fell again Thursday night. Dad was released from the hospital last Friday and they are now together (sort of, she is in one hall and he is in another) He is failing so fast. the dr. put him on some major pain meds and I think they had a bad effect on his brain. he is very weak. I am hoping he will be able to gain strength in rehab and get back to the assisted living facility that we had chosen due to the fact that there was a memory care unit there too. Mom has now gotten used to being in rehab now that dad is there too and they look too comfortable. Now there is a possibility that mom will have to leave Monday or Tuesday and will start with agitation all over again because dad won't be there. This may sound like I am putting the cart before the horse, but do you have any recommendations on how to handle it when dad passes?? I am feeling that maybe just something private with only family, and of course this will include mom. Then a week or so later have some kind of memorial service with a lunch for friends etc. but not include mom. I really don't feel she could handle a traditional funeral... oh I just hate having to think about it now, but it is a reality.
due to all the stress, I took a step back Friday night and my husband and I went to our cabin until Sunday with friends. I knew mom and dad were safe and I was only a phone call away. I will offer that advice to anyone, walk away for a day or so and take care of yourself. It gave me a renewed frame of mind and I finally got some sleep.

Again, any input is greatly appreciated.

Mary


Posted on 2009/4/19 22:32




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