Re: Don't know what to do...

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Quite a regular
From: Rowlett
Posts: 56
Dear Mary,
You have had so much to deal with regarding your parents - I can't imagine how exhausted you must be these days!! This may be a brief response for now but I hope to address a few of your primary concerns. First, you ARE caring for your mother by admitting her to a facility that cares for persons with dementia - as you said, you can't be there for her 24/7 but there will be staff at a facility that can address her needs as they arise 24/7.

I know you are in a time crunch, so I'm going to suggest a few things and hope something helps - you may want to call a geriatric care manager in your area (website is: ) and tell them you need help in placing your mother and finding the best care for your father once he is out of the hospital, if he is able to do so anytime soon. They do charge for this service but they can advise you about better options for your parents in the community.

If your mother is ambulatory and wanders she will need to be in a facility that has a secure unit so that she won't be able to walk out the door. Some long term care facilities offer care from assisted living through more levels of care to skilled nursing - all on the same campus. This way, your parents may be able to live within the same general area. Check out those facilities that offer these levels of care in the community. You may want to call the Alzheimer's association for information about facilities that offer this kind of care in your area. Please try to remember that your mother requires a level of care that would be hard to meet if you brought her home with you. I think you would need some kind of home health service to help you care for you mother if you brought her home . . . or lots of friends, neighbors and or family to help!! Please keep in mind that the staff and good facilities that care for persons with dementia know how to interact with them and help them adjust to their environment - please try to not feel guilty about placing your mother in a facility such as this, as you really are caring for her in this way too!!

Maybe one step at a time for right now . . . I think once you find a place that will be able to care for your mother - that offers a secure unit for persons with dementia - and offers the type of care your father may need once he leaves the hospital, you will be able to handle other issues that may arise. Again, I would call the Alz. Assoc. or go to their website for information about a chapter in your area ( or ask for a social worker from your dad's hospital to talk with you about options OR contact a geriatric care manager for immediate help.

I'm happy to offer more options or suggestions if I can but my experience with facilities is in the Dallas- Ft. Worth Texas area . . .please let me know if you have a question regarding all this . . .I'll try to help as much as possible and hope to hear how things evolve with your parents.

Please take care, Mary . . . look forward to hearing back from you - Barb Davis

Posted on 2009/4/14 13:44

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