Re: grief in the dementia patient

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none Re: grief in the dementia patient

My Dad is ONLY 64 years old. He had a blood clot in his brain 4 years ago and ever since then he has had some troubles. He was still working up until this past Feb. And was managing (we are thought). He would come home from work and eat and go to sleep. He would sleep all weekend. He never wanted to socialize. He was beginning to have some trouble with familiar tasks at work.

One day in February he had a terrible car wreck 40 miles away from his workplace. He had no idea where he was. He has since been given a diagnosis of moderate vascular dementia. I have had to put him in an assisted living facility due to the fact that my Mom is dealing with ovarian cancer and can not take care of him. I am an only child. I'm 44 and have a 4 year old child. There is no way I can bring my Dad into my home and take care of him.

My Mom is staying with her sister while she is finishing up with chemotherapy. She is actually doing great and her test results are coming back great. Of course she is upset about my Dad but she has expressed to me that she has been taking care of him for a long time and can't do it anymore.

So with all of that said, my Dad is in the early stages. He is still very sharp at times but I have go through the same stories over and over. I don't think he will ever leave the assisted living facility even though he thinks he will. I am so guilt ridden that I am doing the wrong thing but I really don't have any other choice.

I'm totally exhausted with dealing with all of the wreck stuff, auto insurance, medical insurance, legal stuff that I'm about to go insane. I work full time and I can barely keep up with my parents stuff and my own family. I know I'm venting but I'm scared, full of guilt that I'm taking my Dad's life away. The dementia is so tricky. I have to believe the doctors know what they are doing but I'm so confused. I have also read in many places that vascular dementia can have a pretty short life expectancy after it is diagnosed.

Thanks for just listening out there. If anyone, can give me ANY advice about understanding dementia it is greatly appreciated. Of course, I have read a ton about it but it is so tricky.

Posted on 2008/6/2 21:20

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