Re: grief in the dementia patient

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From: Dallas
Posts: 262
Indeed, the understanding of dementia patients is such that they - as you have learned - often cannot hold losses in their memories. As it is so traumatizing to love ones to have be told of the loss over and over again, it may be worth just telling a loved one a beneficial lie. It is one thing to be dishonest with a loved one because we are trying to protect them from facing hard truths. It is not lying if one has been honest, is not trying to withhold information, and because of the organic lack of capacity, a loved one cannot understand. In such circumstances, it truly is a mercy.

Regarding a pacemaker, as we have mentioned elsewhere, your concerns are well-placed and appropriate. My Dad died two-weeks ago. I would not have wanted a pacemaker placed in him anytime within the past two to three years. It would have only prolonged his agony. He went with his family around him and with love present in his life. As I said in the other post, that's just my values. It very likely will not fit others.

We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

Mike D.

Posted on 2008/5/14 22:45

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