Re: grief in the dementia patient

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normal Re: grief in the dementia patient

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From: Rowlett
Posts: 56
Dear Loret:
I am so sorry for your mother's passing, Loret. Please accept my most heartfelt condolences. It's so hard when one of our parents dies and we are left coping with our grief while we are caring for our other parent. All I can say is that it sounds like you are a wonderfully caring daughter - and caregiver.
Regarding your father's dementia, I'm glad that you have retained the caregiver that you had to now care for your father. Most times our elderly parents will say that they are just fine and can manage okay, but when a person has dementia, rarely are they okay and capable of caring for themselves. You asked whether anyone else has ever encountered the issues you describe where your father forgets that your mother has died because of his dementia. I can say without hesitation that this happens more times than not, when a person has some sort of memory impairment. I think that one way of helping your father through those times that he does remember, is to respond to whatever his feeling is at the moment - if he is sad, simply be there for him, offer love and reassurance that you and your other family members will be there for him in the days, months and years to come. He will probably continue these cycles of forgetting and needing to ask where your mother is - and I think that those time are even harder on us sometimes - and simply responding in a way that reassures him and comforts him at that moment is the best that you can do.

I will try to continue my reply back to your note soon, but in the meantime, please take care of yourself while you are caring for everyone else!
With most sincere condolences for your grief -
Barb Davis

Posted on 2005/10/25 10:49

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